Thursday, February 28, 2013

Stereotypes and poker - Part 3 of a 116 part series on "Better Know a Poker Player"*

Part of my multi-part series of "Better Know a Player"- the 116 part series on racism and stereotyping those around you*, I continue with 2 new stereotypes: the Marine and the take-no-sh*t Navy old Navy guy.  Enjoy it, or ignore it as blatant racism.  You choose!

The Marine / Army guy
We've all seen this person at the table.  He's either wearing a cropped haircut and an "Army One" t-shirt, or he's got the ever-so-subtle digital camouflage backpack.  Whatever means you choose to recognize him, I always swallow hard.  Here's a guy who's fighting for our country (directly or indirectly), and he's putting his money on the table as the table fish.  It's an ongoing internal battle for me; on one hand, I'm not one to shy away from the fish - I'm not above taking handouts.  On the other hand, he's putting his life on the line for my freedom that I don't necessarily take for granted.  However, he's a big boy and knows what he's getting into; I just hope he's not losing more than he can afford.  He has a tendency to combine with the table drunk because he's there for the free drinks and the entertainment that poker brings him.
The verdict: Bread-and-butter.  Easy game.  Totally loose-passive.  Value value value, if your heart can handle it.

The retired Navy guy
Take no shit from no one 'cept his war buddies, this guy proudly served our country when you're daddy was in diapers.  I can respect that.  Like the Marine / Army guy, thank you for your service to our country.  Thank you for fighting the Nazis, or the Japs, or the Vietnamese, or the Koreans (North, of course).  He's wearing a hat that states what destroyer / battleship / carrier he served on, and he's usually grumpy.  Ham it up with him and he'll be more palatable at the table, though careful, son - don't overstep 'yer boundaries.
The verdict: Rock.  He'll check / call you down and never fold top pair.  He's got an unadapting range in mind that he'll *NEVER* deviate from - position be damned.  He's going broke on AA every. single. damned. time!  (Why the F*CK do they *NEVER* hold up, G*DD*MNIT!?!?!?!   Why?  Because you're only paying off when they know they have you beat, and they're folding the hands that didn't flop good against your 1% raising range of AA, KK)  Again, check / call means top pair.  Raise means some two pair, but definitely set+ and overpairs (for some reason, overpairs are held in higher regard than 2 pair; WTF?).  Value value value when you nut on him.  Fold otherwise.  He'll pay off your flush / straight and set.  Therefore, don't try to bluff.

To be continued...

* Credit to Steven Colbert and the Colbert Report's 434 part series, "Better Know a District" series.  If you haven't seen any of the episodes, click over to his website and watch.  It's very clever - Eleanor Holmes Norton is my favorite interview.


  1. awesome !

    have to admit, these guys are hard to identify online, doh ! I really need to get out more, sigh.

  2. Yep. Authoritarian minds of military folk tend to be ill-suited for the flexible thinking of poker. The best part of these guys is that they hate to be pussied with. So give them what they want--just own them and move on. They're always the easiest targets.

  3. Loving this series. Fortunately, you have lots of material.


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