Killing the Golden Goose (or Geese?)

The opportunity to play on the weekends has been increasing lately – I suppose my wife is nervous about paying for my son’s upcoming Bar Mitzvah, so she’s been “agreeing” to send me out to play.  Effectively, I feel like she’s my pimp and I have to bring her back some moneys or she smacks me around a bit…  Maybe that’s what I tell myself – maybe she just doesn’t want me around all that much…  That notwithstanding, I find myself at the ‘Shoe late on a Friday night.

Things are break-even for the first hour or so when I see my favorite ATM machine walk in the door with her boyfriend.  A little background on the girl: she’s very loose preflop, and has an ego problem where she’ll rarely lay down a hand in spite of action that says she’s beat.  It’s almost comical; she pays off every. single. time.  Her boyfriend plays more conservatively, but I’d rate him as around average; capable of making a move from time to time, but mostly ABC.  He just watches her dump money, and continually replenishes her with additional buy-ins.

So, I see them walk in, and immediately request a table change to their table – a new table.  Yes.  I’m a bum hunter in this case.  I have my few favorites who I will bum hunt and they are certainly on my hit list.  So, I sit down at the table and fold a few hands (an orbit or two) as I get the lay of the land.  I immediately take note of the hyper aggro guy to my right, raising (and raising big) almost every hand, playing hard post flop & usually taking down the hand before showdown.  It seems he hasn’t run into any powerhouses, so he’s getting away with it.

So, aforementioned dude opens UTG+1 to $20.  I look down and see JJ.  I 3bet to $60.  Everyone else folds and he snap calls.  Flop is A Q 8 dd (around the worst flop EVER!).  He checks and I lead for $45 (he has a bit over $100 behind – maybe $160.  He beats me to the pot with his call, acting very nervously.  Strange.  Turn is a blank – maybe a 3.  He checks.  I decide to check.  River is another blank – 2?  5?  This time, he thinks for a long time and sloppily shoves his chips while saying “all in.”  WTF – around $110 or so…?  He’s stoic, sitting back in his chair and not saying anything and not moving.  I try to piece all of this together, and come to the conclusion that my turn check showed him weakness so he thinks he can push me off my hand.  I’m not really concerned about the Ace, but I’m concerned he has a hand like QJ or QT and turned his Qx into a bluff.  This kind of player doesn’t really think about what he’s doing or why; just acts on impulse.  I eventually make the sighing call and wait.  He’s still in his chair after the dealer says I called.  He waits for a good 30 seconds and flips over KT for the missed gutter.  I flip my JJ for the winner and say nothing.  I scoop and flip the dealer 4 white chips.

My aggro is visibly shaken – angry almost – and asks how much he can buy in for – he wants to get $1000.  The dealer says $300 max and he buys $300 or so.  After a hand or two, I ask him if he’s waiting for the $2-5 game.  He looks at me and says, “I don’t know what you just said, but you’re acting like an a**hole.”  I’m dumbfounded, but before I can even respond, the dealer says, “He’s not acting like anything; he’s trying to converse with you.  He’s asking you about the other games in the poker room and trying to be nice.  Furthermore, your language will not be tolerated here.”  Wow.  Just wow.  Kudos to the dealer for keeping the game under control.   The whole table (including me) is staring at him now after his outburst of uncontrolled behavior.  Now he says to me, “Don’t even look at me.  Don’t look this way.”  What do I do at this point?  I just shake my head and look away from him, wanting to end this potentially violent confrontation.  A few hands later, he gathers his chips and storms off.

Now to the crux of the post, even though the above story could apply to the title as well:

I’ve played with the couple mentioned above for a few months now.  I’ve become a bit friendly with both; sharing personal details (both ways) with the boyfriend.  He’s a nice guy, as is she, though she’s a bit of a brute when it comes to ego and getting her way.  I’ve put some really bad beats on her, but she’s also made some horrendous mistakes.  I’m never getting it in bad against her, and she’s almost always calling me as described.

I raise UTG to $15 with TT.  I get called 5 way ($75 in the pot) to see a flop of 2 5 6 dd.

With so many players in the pot, and a vulnerable overpair, I lead for $60.  She (2 seats down) raises to $120.  It folds back around to me and I tank for a bit.  There are a number of hands she’d do this with: mainly top pair good kicker, I saw her raise a flopped set earlier, and bluffs.  She plays a wide range of hands, so TP is more likely than sets and two pair hands.  Bluffs are less likely, but still in her range.  I figure calling here is useless; I’m just going to get it in on the turn anyway if I call the flop and believe I’m good, and I can’t really put her on a hand but a possible diamond draw or straight draw bluff.  I look down at $250 remaining and shove.  Action is back to her, but by the time I look up, the dealer has already put out the turn and the river – a K and A.  However, she has yet to call!  Alright…. Now what?

I know what’s going to happen: the turn and river cards will be shuffled back into the deck, and pending action, will be dealt anew.  The burn cards stay as the natural burn cards.  However, she’s putting up a huge verbal fight.  Arguing this isn’t fair…  Arguing the burn cards to be shuffled in… etc.  I’m not sure what she’s trying to get out of it, but finally she asks me to chop the pot.  Now, ordinarily, against any other player, I would tell them outright “no” without even a second thought.  I know I have the winning hand here, and I don’t want her to have a sour taste towards me because she’s an ATM.  What do you do?  Do you accept half the pot despite having the winner?  This is more of a meta game move than the actual hand at stake.  However, this is not a small pot at this point; there’s $250 in the pot + my raise + if she calls, another $130.

I decide to tell her that I can’t accept that offer; I have the winning hand.  Optimal or not, she winds up talking herself into a call with K7cc (WTF??????).  Now I realize why she fought so hard; she had turned the winning hand.  She was fighting based on an angle on false hope.  Pretty sneaky; noted.  I will not ever chop with her if the situation arises again.  In the end, the second turn and river flip over harmlessly and I scoop a nice pot!

What would you do?  Given the information at the time – that you didn’t know she was angling for the K to stay – what would you do?

Saturday night at Baltimore's Horseshoe

I went to Baltimore Horseshoe last Saturday to try to sweep up some loose dollars from the players busting out of the WSOP ring events they were holding.  I got there around 10:30 pm and found the place absolutely jammed.  Side note: On my way up, I was debating between Maryland Live! and the 'Shoe, but ultimately opted for the 'Shoe because of the all day tournaments that had been ongoing.  The waitlists were similar, but I figured that many people would be playing all day poker and be wanting a little retribution / blow off steam at the cash tables from their early bust outs on the multi-flight 3 day tournament.  Moreover, I like the 1/3 games over the 1/2 games - it's the same players but for 50% more money on the table.

My buddy Josh was kind enough to put my name on the list (he was playing both the morning, and due to an early bust out, the afternoon flights), as the brush desk was not accepting call ins.  When I got there, I tried to add my cell to my name on the list, but my name was no where to be found.  I'm not sure what happened, and never was able to find out, but apparently my name had never been added.  Finding the floorman that Josh originally asked to add me, he was having a tough time navigating the waitlist system, and just moved my name to the top of the list - BOOM!  I instantly got a seat after talking with him - sitting at around 11:00 in the tournament conference room.

Another side note: I was not aware, but even though they only have 25 permanent tables set up in the regular poker room, the conference room has an additional 125 table capacity.  The room can be used not only for tournament play but cash games as well.  The list was around 100 deep, and the management opened up a bunch of cash tables in the room.  Although we were stuck without comps (no machine reader) and without hand shuffle (no electricity in the floor for the temporary folding poker tables), we were at least in action.

I was seated at a brand new 1/3 table which never really seemed to stay at capacity.  We started with 6-7 players, getting to 10, but wavering around 8 players at any given time.  It was an interesting crowd: 1 very serious player who I did not want to mess with, a drunk, a decently hot girl with a banging body (complete with low cut tshirt and great boobs - it's nice to be young!), and a maniac who was raising every hand to $6 when it limped to him, potting every street and taking it down by the turn.  Everyone's suspicious eye was on the maniac, FWIW.

I had gotten into a hand with maniac early on, when I uncharacteristically open limped A9o, called a $6 raise PF with a host of callers, saw an A high flop, calling a $25 flop bet but folding to a $75 turn bet (what is it they say about insanity - expecting different results while doing the same thing over & over?).  I can't tell you why I called the flop bet or the PF raise in the first place if I wasn't prepared to call off the turn and expected river shove, but I did it.  Stupid me.  I learn from my mistake.

Finally, the hand in question: I have KQo in late position with no limpers.  I raise to $12 as first in.  SB calls and so does Mr. Maniac in the BB.  Flop comes 2c 7c Q.  I have the Kc, FYI.  I bet $25 into $36 pot and the SB folds.  Mr. Maniac check / raises to $75 and I think for a bit - shove, fold or just call.  He's been crazy, but hasn't check / raised yet, although we've been playing ~30 minutes.  He can easily be c/ring the club draw, but I think he has a far wider range that he could do this.  I don't want to let him off the hook by shoving only to have him fold.  Moreover, I think no matter the next card, given the time I've taken to make my decision, he's auto-shoving.  I'm prepared to call off stacks (which is about $130 or so behind), and if a club turns, unless he had me at the get-go (AcQ which I would have thought he would PF 3bet), I have to be good  and I have the backdoor club draw.

The turn comes 9c (puke) and he, as expected, shoves his remaining $130 or so.  I think for a bit, sickened by the club, but begrudgingly call.  He nods his head that I'm good, but for finer measure, a club drops the river and hit my K high flush to his Q8hh.  I've never seen a guy make an exit for the door so fast as this guy...

I started thinking about how he played, and whether it would be profitable in a more selective way.  He raises to $6 which gets everyone & their mothers calling.  The pot is decently large by the flop with these little $6 raises, and potting every street can make some decent money given scared money from the other players.  I think the problem with that strategy is twofold, though: once you showdown a weak hand / bluff, you're never getting credit again, and once you slow down because you think your opponent isn't going away, your opponent should bet you off the hand and you've now opened yourself up for constantly being bluffed off hands.

Bumping fuzzies?

All too infrequently do I see women sitting at the tables here in EBF, I mean Charles Town, WV.  See, you players out in Vegas have it good; you have eye candy in the waitresses and apparently, according to this guy, the players are lookers too!  Out here in the sticks, which is all of 60 minutes from DC, there's nothing but cowpoke and bumpkins.  It's a rarity if there's a girl in the poker room who would raise an eye.

The other night, you see, was indeed a rarity.  I not only had one attractive girl at my table, but two!  Sitting next to each other.  Sitting to my left.  2 cute blondes.  It was their first time playing live casino poker.  Very friendly.  Very smiley.  Very drinky.  Very talky.

Procedurally, they both were in tune, able to post their blinds without needing to be reminded, understood and followed the action, and weren't playing like total noobs.  We started chatting it up - the 3 of us - and I was quick to find out that she never got to play [errr... poker] because her "ex-girlfriend" didn't like to gamble.  My slow, dimwitted mind processed that statement as - her "ex-friend who was a girl" didn't like to gamble, which made little to no sense to me: why would a friend exert such control over this chick?  Damned if I'll allow a friend to tell me what to do!  Hell, my wife is the only person with real influence over my my daily life plans...  wait a second....  Moreover, I've never referred to a friend as an "ex-friend."  It's not like on facebook where you unfriend someone and call them your "ex-friend."  You simply don't refer to said person anymore.  Well, the wheels started a'churnin' and I process it to mean that she's advertising that she's a pink player.  High five!

Now how often is it that you meet a girl and find out she's from the island of lesbos - that she's a card-carrying member of the lesbian community?  Moreover, how often do you find that she's a cute lesbian - and her girlfriend is a cute lesbian?  Perhaps I'm skating on thin ice by saying this, but I can count on 1 finger the amount of times I've seen a cute chick with another cute chick in the Biblical sense (is it Biblical if they're engaged in lesbianism?).  Nothing against your typical run-of-the-mill lesbian, but in my experience, they're just not generally cute; sometimes one is somewhat cute and the other is the more masculine type - just like with homosexual guys (all in a stereotypical sense - of course they're are cute gay couples out there, but again, GENERALLY the pairing is cute / dainty with more gruff).  Also, it should be noted that I'm not talking about that lesbian BS they put into porn that they CALL lesbianism, where the girls aren't real lesbos and they're inevitably having a guy join in because they crave the [WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS!?!?!?]... I'm talking about real, honest-to-goodness gay chicks.  Moreover, they're sitting at the poker table, next to me, chatting it up!

Now, those that read my blog on a regular basis (well - "regular" is a loose term because I don't post all that frequently anymore) know that I'm a married, devoted husband and father of 3 children.  I honestly would not be interested in these girls other than for the flirtation of the chance to watch the two of them make out with each other while I eat popcorn, enjoy the show and not join in but wish I could *.  At any rate, I busted one of the two out of her original buy in ($100), and the other guys at the table were working hard NOT to bust the remaining chick (she would wind up running a failed bluff into a guy who called her down the whole way trying to not let her bust herself moreso than value betting / value calling).  There was no conversation of interest to me that is worth mentioning on the blog - they didn't start making out at the table, nor did they escape to the bathroom for a quickie, much to the chagrin of me and my fellow straight table mates.

After the girls left, the table got a little chatty Kathy about the whole thing.  Fill-ins began to trickle into the table including an older gentleman and a younger 30's -aged guy.  They listened about the legacy whose seats they were filling.  Clearly, they were not suitable substitutes.  The older guy, not having said a word nearly the entire 30 minutes he was there, started rolling on the floor when the mid-30's guy heard our story and determined that these girls were indeed "Bumping fuzzies."  Watching him process the whole "fuzzy bumper" metaphor was a comedy act unto itself; within about 20 seconds, he was tearing at the eyes.

Anyway, thought I'd share this little tale with you all.  It's not often that I write about non-poker poker stories, but I found this one amusing and I hope that you will too.

* If my wife is reading this, EWWW!  Another chick?  Gross me out!  I wouldn't ever want to look at or see another chick, much less touch one!  I said the above for effect for my readers, lest they think worse of me than they already do!

Angle shooting & cute grinders from the Casino del Sol, Tucson, AZ

Damn Word screwed up this post for google reader. Sorry. Reposting. I am in Tucson, Arizona for a few days, working.  I have had all of my nights available, and having been to Tucson before, I have decided to put my time into playing poker (surprised?).  I played Sunday night, when I got in, and last night (Monday), having a positive experience.  I stopped into the Desert Diamond, where I've played before, only to find no NL games running.  I decided to then make the 10 mile drive over to Casino del Sol, and was very happy with choice.

• Casino del Sol

The state of poker play out here is woeful!  The players simply have no clue how to read hands, are more than happy to pay off, and don't understand ranges.  They play a hit or miss kinda game, for the most part.  Couple that with a mostly cheerful crew and patrons, and it makes good times for me.
The poker tables are new-ish, advertising events planned for 2012 on the felt, which leads me to believe they have less than 4 months of wear.  The chairs are decent, comfortable and padded, not worn out.  The only complaint I can come up with is the chips are well-worn.  However, the poker room is very friendly, and will add your name to the waitlist if you call in ahead of time.  Although professionally run, it had a very friendly feeling to it.  Max buy in to their 1 / 2 NL game is $200, and though they call it no limit, it is truly spread limit, with the maximum single bet equaling $500.  Sitting down at the table, you need not post.  Hands are raked normally; I assume 10% up to $4 plus a $2(!!!) drop for the bad beat jackpot.  On the Sunday and Monday nights I was there (~9:00pm), del Sol had 2 1 / 2 NL tables running.  By 12:30am, the tables were ready to combine into 1 game.

Sunday was fairly uneventful; I was sucked out on twice on the river (all in on the turn), for effective stacks, but against shorter stacks, I would generally wind up with my original buy in.  The players far overplayed their weak Aces, and were consistently rewarded with bailout two pair on the river.  Regardless, I majorly messed up the final hand, which cost me my initial buy in: down to 4-way action, I raise to $12 from UTG.  SB who was the only other competent player, raises to $25.  He knows that I’m capable of a move on him because he’s seen me bluff raise the river vs. him and show, and I have no doubt that he’s looking to extract his revenge.  I 4 bet him to $50 and he insta-raises to $100.  At this point, I’m fairly certain he holds AK, but I decide to see a flop for the remaining $100 in my stack – not something I’d likely do online, but if I have him on AK / AQ, I can see a flop and fold to those cards or shove a Jack high or worse flop, and get in as a 75% favorite.  Regardless, the flop comes 8 3 3 and I shove.  He, as expected, calls, and shows AA for the legitimate hand.  Bummer – 4 way action and I run into AA…

• Angle shooting

Anyway, I’m playing Monday night and run in semi- G-d mode.  I chipped up to around $400 profit on the session, making up for my prior night’s $200 loss.  Time is nearing midnight and I have to get to bed in order to wake up the next day, so I start racking up when the following happens:

I limp 92s on the BTN alongside a host of limpers.  We see a flop of 2 5 J, rainbow.  Checks around to me and I stab for $7 into the $10 pot.  I may have gotten 2 callers, which tells me I’m in fairly bad shape with my naked deuce.  Turn is a 6 and it checks around to me, once again.  I pot control check, really unsure of where the heck I am.  3 5 go there, obv, but there are no other draws, so WTF?  River comes a beautiful 9 and here’s where it get’s interesting

Checks around to me again and I “toss” out $12 – 2 $1 chips and 2 $5 chips.  One of the $5 chips bounces back across the line and lands behind the bet line.  The BB (facing the action) immediately starts to complain that I bet $7, not $12.  He says that the $5 chip never crossed the line and that my bet is $7.  Floor is called and makes the [correct] ruling that the intent of my bet was to equal $12, not $7.  This guy continues to jaw about how the $5 chip never crossed the line, so I start to get into it a bit and tell him that I feel like he’s angle shooting over $5.  After a little verbal sparring, he admits that he wants to call $7 and though he will call $12, he wants to call $7 – the very definition of angle shooting / cheating.  I explain that to him, which is clearly lost on the player (he’s a 35 year old guy, not a curmudgeon retiree, so WTF?) but after the floor’s ruling, he grudgingly throws in his $12 to pay me off.  I guess the longer I play, the more frequent I’ll see that type of behavior, but WOW!  You’re arguing that a chip didn’t fall in the right spot on the table and so it doesn’t count as a bet?  Even though you know it was intended to be a bet?  Cheat much?

• Cute Grinders

I’ve been reading Josie’s blog since she started, more or less two years ago.  She’s predominantly a live player, and is convinced that clothes are everything for girl poker players.  Her thought is that wearing low cut or provocative shirts / blouses distracts the male players and breaks their concentration.  While in theory, it works, I’ve yet to see a hot chick sit down at a live table – let alone combined with the knowledge of how to play poker.

Here in AZ, there’s a really cute chick that has the whole cleavage / clothes down pat, though.  She’s got a ~10 body with a cute face, and knows how to play.  I was talking with her briefly – she just moved from NY, so she cut her teeth in AC.  She seems to know her game, but she is simply so distracting to watch that it makes it hard for me to watch the other players and get reads.  Fortunately, I did a thorough job of avoiding pots with her, so it never became an issue directly, but yeah; it may be a distraction of sorts, checking out the ‘ole cleavage.  This girl’s dress / looks take away components of my overall game.  I’ve never met Josie in person, but she’s definitely onto something…