Monday, June 28, 2010

Funny stuff - donkeys going nuts!

Sitting across from me was this Greek fellow who just went wild when the following hand occurred (keep in mind that he's a 38/24 with a reckless 3bet, steal, etc.):

Full Tilt Poker $0.25/$0.50 No Limit Hold'em - 7 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

CO: $50.00
BTN: $103.85
Hero (SB): $53.85
BB: $22.35
UTG: $55.70 <-- DONK
UTG+1: $43.95
MP: $50.75

CO posts a big blind ($0.50)

Pre Flop: ($1.25) Hero is SB with 9d 8c
UTG raises to $1.50, 4 folds, Hero raises to $5.50, 1 fold, UTG calls $4
I 3bet, he flats.  He's raising far and wide all day.  Don't know what he's thinking, but okay...

Flop: ($12.00) 6s 8s 8h (2 players)
Hero checks, UTG bets $12.75, Hero raises to $30, UTG raises to $50.20 all in, Hero calls $18.35 all in
Nice!  Unless you have 6's full, I'm in pretty good shape here, and I'm going to town with this one...

Turn: ($108.70) 2c (2 players - 2 are all in)

River: ($108.70) 9h (2 players - 2 are all in)

Final Pot: $108.70
Hero shows 9d 8c (a full house, Eights full of Nines)
UTG shows Qs Qc (two pair, Queens and Eights)
Hero wins $105.70
(Rake: $3.00)

So then he proceeds to go absolutely nuts in the chat box:
Donkey: FAKIN FISHJ
Donkey: !%#&&@$
Donkey: STUPID MOTHER FAKER
Donkey: FAK U AND UR WHOLE FAMILY
Donkey: STUPID DONKEY
ThePokerMeister: ME? (I can't resist the urge sometimes...)
Donkey: BI T CH
ThePokerMeister: LOL
ThePokerMeister: TNX
Donkey: GO FAK URSELF FAKIN IDIOT
ThePokerMeister: i will try
Donkey: A SS HOLE
ThePokerMeister: but too many ribs in the way (It's true, I've tried it...)
ThePokerMeister: buy back in tho
ThePokerMeister: i'll try to F u
ThePokerMeister: again
Donkey: U RE THE MOST STUPID MOTHER FAKER EVER
Donkey: A S SHOLE
ThePokerMeister: try to get ur money back
Donkey: I WILL FAK U
Donkey: =STUPID DONKEYS EVERYWHERE
ThePokerMeister: glad u came to ur senses (he buys back in)
Donkey: I WILL FAK U MOTHER FAKIN IDIOT
ThePokerMeister: my mother?
Donkey: NO U
Donkey: U STUPID CLOWN
ThePokerMeister: how u gonna do that?
Donkey: U RE PROPABLY JERKIN OFF ALL THE TIME
Donkey: A S S HOLE
ThePokerMeister: through the internet?
Donkey: YEAH I LL PUT MY D CK IN THE WIRE
ThePokerMeister: sometimes i do that (Never; this is a lie)
Donkey: FAKIN DONK
ThePokerMeister: fakin donk?
Donkey: YES FAKIN DONK
Donkey: FAKIN FISHHH
ThePokerMeister: faking donk?
Donkey: 89
ThePokerMeister: i'm not a real donk?
Donkey: U RE THE DEFINITION OF DONK
Donkey: A S S HOLE
ThePokerMeister: it's true
Donkey: CLASSIC STUPID AMERICAN FISH
ThePokerMeister: true
Donkey: U RE PROPABLY EATIN ONLY MC DONALDS (???)
Donkey: DONKEY
ThePokerMeister: stacked u tho
Donkey: THATS WHY U HAVE NO FAKIN BRAIN
ThePokerMeister: didnt i?
Donkey: LOLOLOLOLOL
Donkey: ARE THAT KIND OF STUPID???
Donkey: 89???
Donkey: ??
ThePokerMeister: overplay much?
Donkey: GO READ A FAKIN BOOK STUPID MOTHER FAKER
ThePokerMeister: -35 mean anything to u?
Donkey: WHAT IS THAT??
ThePokerMeister: ur lifetime losses (I probably shouldn't go there, but again, I can't resist)
Donkey: LOL
Donkey: U RE SO FAKIN STUPID
Donkey: I M 10 GRAND UP STUPID AS S (And I'm the president of the United States)
ThePokerMeister: best thing is that u just simply gave me ur stack
ThePokerMeister: it wasnt even a challenge betting it outta u
ThePokerMeister: drawing to 2 outs
ThePokerMeister: next time at least make it a bit of a challenge
Donkey: I LL GET IT BACK SOON STUPID FAK
ThePokerMeister: what is a "FAK" (Unfortunately, I can't egg him into explaining...)
Donkey: IN THE MEANTIME GO READ A BOOK OR STH FAKIN GAMBLER (HUH?)
ThePokerMeister: LOL
Donkey: U RE A DONK
ThePokerMeister: a donk and a scholar
ThePokerMeister: so what is a "FAK"?

Culminating in his final hand, where I can't resist:
Full Tilt Poker $0.25/$0.50 No Limit Hold'em - 9 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BTN: $50.75
SB: $89.10
Hero (BB): $103.40 <-- FAKIN DONK(?)
UTG: $17.50
UTG+1: $17.10
UTG+2: $50.00
MP1: $53.50 <-- DONK
MP2: $75.55
CO: $52.55

Pre Flop: ($0.75) Hero is BB with 9d 9c
3 folds, MP1 raises to $3.50, 4 folds, Hero calls $3

Flop: ($7.25) Td 3s Th (2 players)
Hero checks, MP1 checks

Turn: ($7.25) 7h (2 players)
Hero bets $4.50, MP1 calls $4.50

River: ($16.25) 5c (2 players)
Hero bets $8, MP1 calls $8

Final Pot: $32.25
Hero shows 9d 9c (two pair, Tens and Nines)
MP1 mucks Qs Ad
Hero wins $30.65
(Rake: $1.60)

ThePokerMeister: Oops!

I know Waffles isn't from Greece, but is this his twin?

5 comments:

  1. You shoulda tried to check/raise him for thin-value on the river. That would have been awesome.

    You are way ahead of his range the way he played it, and he might have just tilt called.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilarious chat. I ran into a similar guy yesterday. It's always tough to refrain from bringing up their career losses if you have looked them up... My guy was a consistent loser from all the micro levels, post shockingly featuring a $1000 loss at 2 NL. And he really thought he was outplaying everyone else, especially me, and getting unlucky!

    ReplyDelete
  3. how dow you check someones career losses?

    -fakin noob

    ReplyDelete
  4. On the right column of this blog is a search box called "PokerTableRatings," or PTR for short. You can punch in any player in the search box & it will tell you their lifetime history at online poker.

    ReplyDelete

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