With cards like, who needs to play anymore?

I may as well just shove over on every flop with no cards, because that works just about the same.... Thanks for a $-26 night, Full Tilt! Holy shit... I just can't believe I run THIS bad:

Full Tilt No-Limit Hold'em, $0.10 BB (9 handed) - Full-Tilt Converter Tool from http://www.flopturnriver.com

CO ($10.08)
Button ($4.69)
SB ($10.47)
Hero (BB) ($8)
UTG ($4.03)
UTG+1 ($10.31)
MP1 ($6.06)
MP2 ($10)
MP3 ($0.80)

Preflop: Hero is BB with Ac, As
5 folds, CO calls $0.10, 1 fold, SB bets $0.50, Hero calls $0.40, CO calls $0.40
SB is uncharacteristically betting 5x out of the SB! CO is a bit of a donkey, and this hand confirms that suspicion. Armed with that knowledge, I smooth PF, not wanting to scare away the CO fish. I know where I stand with the SB - AA(much less likely)/KK/QQ/JJ/TT

Flop: ($1.50) 2c, 2h, Ks (3 players)
SB checks, Hero checks, CO bets $1.50, SB calls $1.50, Hero calls $1.50
SB check makes me want to throw up; SB's call makes me puke even further. Really, should I be folding here? I don't give a crap what CO has, because I'm positive SB has KK. This is my folly; I know what SB has, so I should be laying down the AA, right? I just don't believe that SB is calling with anything less than AK/KK - and based on the PF raise, I have to believe KK. However, this terrible run of the past 2 MONTHS (YES MONTHS) has my head fucked; is it really possible that I've been outflopped for the hundredth time?

Turn: ($6) 4s (3 players)
SB checks, Hero checks, CO checks
Well, at least I get a free card!

River: ($6) 7c (3 players)
SB bets $2, Hero calls $2, CO calls $2
Here's another chance to get away from it, but I can't bring myself to fold such a dry fucking board. WTF.

Total pot: $12 | Rake: $0.80

Results:
SB had Kh, Kd (full house, Kings over twos).
Hero had Ac, As (two pair, Aces and twos).
CO had Kc, 10c (two pair, Kings and twos).
Outcome: SB won $11.20
OF COURSE! The CASE KING!?!?!?!??! OF COURSE!!! Well, I wonder where the Ten was! Hey, why not run tens as well to real fuck with me? Come on; boat him up and leave me holding the bag!

And I love this gem! This was the same table, though different player.

2 hands later:

Full Tilt No-Limit Hold'em, $0.10 BB (9 handed) - Full-Tilt Converter Tool from http://www.flopturnriver.com

MP2 ($6.08)
MP3 ($4.39)
CO ($17.67)
Hero (Button) ($3.95)
SB ($4.38)
BB ($10.31)
UTG ($6.06)
UTG+1 ($10)
MP1 ($0.80)

Preflop: Hero is Button with Jc, Jh
UTG bets $0.30, 3 folds, MP3 calls $0.30, 1 fold, Hero raises to $3.95 (All-In), 2 folds, UTG raises to $6.06 (All-In), 1 fold
So UTG sees me show down crack Aces 2 hands ago. He has to believe that I'm steaming. In addition, I have a bit of history on him where he plays far too many hands / raises far too many hands in or out of position. I shove here, making him believe that I'm steaming & I get the call I want. After all, a call here will even me up for the table and wipe out the bad memories of KK > AA > KT, right?

Flop: ($8.35) 3d, 8h, 7s (2 players, 2 all-in)

Turn: ($8.35) 9s (2 players, 2 all-in)
WRONG!!!! Come on, really? 80/20 favorite? Really? Where is God? Why does he continue to hate me?

River: ($8.35) 8c (2 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: $8.35 | Rake: $0.55

Results:
Hero had Jc, Jh (two pair, Jacks and eights).
UTG had 9h, 9d (full house, nines over eights).
Outcome: UTG won $7.80


DO I HAVE A HEX ON ME? I FUCKING SUCK SO BAD.